All The Things She Said Running Through My Head
by Proton Star
Summary: Secrets and protective lies seem to be fair game when you get into arguments with telepaths. Part 2 of the Becoming Series.


Title: All The Things She Said Running Through My Head

Author: Red Fiona Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Marvel do. This iteration is 20th Century Fox's. No money is being made from this. T.A.T.U.'s lyrics belong to them.  
Fandom: X-Men (most particularly X-Men: First Class)  
Series: Part 2 of Becoming (part 1 can be found here - s/9557059/1/The-Mind-Is-A-Fortress-And-Life-Is-A-Siege)  
Characters: Mystique, Emma Frost and Magneto

Pairings: Mystique/Magneto, implied Magneto/Xavier and implied unrequited Mystique/Xavier.  
Ratings/Warnings: PG-12, more for language than anything. Nothing worse than canon.  
Notes: Written very much for X-Men: First Class canon, it has been thoroughly (and awesomely) Jossed by Days of Future Past.  
Summary: Secrets and protective lies seem to be fair game when you get into arguments with telepaths.

* * *

It had been one of those days.

They'd all been busy, gathering information. Even with a telepath both on their side _and_ willing to do what was necessary, it was taking time. That wasn't the real problem; they all accepted that this war was not going to be over quickly. There were a lot more humans than mutants for a start.

The problem was ... well if Mystique was being honest, and she saw no reason not to be in the comfort of her own thoughts, if they could be described as that in the present situation, she didn't know quite what the underlying problem was, but she knew that whatever it was, it was something between Magneto and Emma.

To her that meant it was Emma's fault. She knew she was being unfair, but she knew Erik better.

Also Emma was frequently an absolute bitch to her and Angel. Fine, she got it, Emma was the White Queen of the Hellfire Club and all should worship her or despair. She tried to get along with Emma, following her lead unless Magneto disagreed, because there was no point antagonising someone that useful without a good reason, but it was getting harder, because Emma would say things sometimes, suggest plans of attack, that were absolutely bone-headed, and Mystique couldn't help herself and pointed out the exact strategic flaws with said plans, and then there was an argument. And telepaths fought dirty, or at least Emma did, going straight for any weak spots she could detect in Mystique. Normally it was something to do with Charles. As though Mystique could help feeling affection towards Charles, they'd grown up together; she was always going to love him.

This time, possibly because Emma must have already had her now near daily row with Erik or possibly because there's nothing like keep having a sore spot picked on to stop it hurting, Emma had switched her attacks to Mystique's feelings about Erik. Which were slightly less of a quagmire than her feelings about Charles, so the switch was appreciated, but still, not something you wanted dragged out in front of your teammates, because she was here for the cause, not for Magneto, even if he was indispensable to it. Thankfully, there didn't seem to have been anyone around when she and Emma had argued but Mystique still worried about what could have been overheard, and what everyone else would think if they had heard.

Mystique had tried not to react, to stop the row from escalating further. It hadn't helped. Maybe it was because Mystique hadn't got angry when Emma started down this track - not that she hadn't wanted to lose her temper, but constantly trying not to let Emma know how she felt was doing her temper the world of good, before she was much older, she'd have the emotional control of a monk - but Emma had suddenly changed her line of attack with regard to Erik, and decided to see if she could make Mystique jealous of Charles, and now Mystique didn't know what to do with herself.

She knew she shouldn't feel like this, a jumble of tangled sore spots and angry at everything for no reason, because it's what Emma wanted, and not giving that woman the satisfaction of any small victory was important, but she couldn't help it. It was a mess, and Mystique knew it. She was almost sure that she knew how she felt about Charles, and she'd learnt to accept that Charles did not feel the same way about her, and that was fine. It used to make her want to scream, and goodness knows she d acted out sometimes because of it, but time and distance had cooled her anger, and taken the edge off the worst of it.

How she felt about Erik was a simpler matter. She loved him and was in love with him and it was everything that her relationship with Charles wasn't. Except not like that, because Erik was Erik and Charles was Charles, and comparing them in that sort of way was wrong, or pointless at least.

That Erik might be with her because he couldn't have Charles hadn't even crossed her mind, and she knows it shouldn't, damn Emma, but the idea was whirling through her thoughts.

There was only one way of sorting this out.

Erik was reading when she went into his room. He must have noticed the serious look on Mystique's face because he put the book down immediately.

Mystique didn't waste time with worthless words. She'd never been one for prevarication, and Erik encouraged her laconic tendencies. "If I looked like this," she shifted easily into Charles's shape, "would you love me more?"

"No. But I would love you."

Something tightened in her chest when he said that. It wasn't anger, or hate, or anything like that. None of the things that Emma wanted her to feel, and none of the things she had expected to feel. It was more like gratitude and satisfaction. Because he knew what she meant, he understood what her question really was. And he didn't lie to her when he answered, even though the lie would have been easier, for both of them. The truth was a dangerous thing, especially with Emma around, and the times being what they were.

But truth was what Erik dealt in. The truth was that she couldn't be herself, all of herself, if humans were in charge, and that fact was something Charles couldn't accept. Then again, Charles couldn't cope with who Raven was. Because she was a who, the blue skin and the yellow eyes, they were part of what made her a who, not a what. Raven had become all the things Charles had wanted her to be, so there was no room for her to be herself until she'd become Mystique.

Mystique shifted back into her own shape, bent over and kissed Erik, the way he'd done to her the night before everything changed. "You were right. I wasn't old enough."


End file.
